I started University this year. I am studying engineering. Now people were not joking about what a serious endeavor this is. It's hard work, more hard work than I've had to do in my life and as happens with any sudden rush of soul-crushing new challenge one is not used to, I began to let the thought of quitting come to mind.
I started to ask myself, "Why am I here? Why am I putting myself through this?". I've never really had a dream, a big goal that I've worked towards. I've always just sort of rolled with it. Now though, the reality of the permanent directions I'm setting my life in is hitting me.
I thought, "What do I really want to do? What career would be my dream career? I need something to work towards, to have a goal."
The answer, I've realised, is game design. My dream is to make games for a living. It's the perfect blend of my passions and talents. It offers a creative outlet, one where I can create a kind of art, telling stories and crafting experiences. Additionally it also engages my logical side and lets me break things up into components and numbers, forming a beautifully crafted system.
This is not just because I like gaming. I love to analyse games. I love the craft behind it. It's something I wouldn't mind doing every day.
Unfortunately, game development is a difficult field to succeed in. I hope to have a family some day and the financial burden of that could be an issue. Thankfully though, I am studying computer engineering. This means I will have to self-study large aspects of game design, but also gives me a solid degree in an area I can still picture myself enjoying if game design falls flat.
In the end though, I'm trusting God. He knows what's best for me and has his own, far greater plan. His plan is better than my own. I don't know what the future holds, but I know He who holds it.
We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile. -Earl Nightingale
